Introducing AWS Clone. Like AWS, but we admit when us-east-1 needs a nap.
Elastic confusion, serverless surprises, and globally distributed whoopsies. All the cloud, half the denial.
Trusted by absolutely no one in production.*
*Yet.
deploy:
region: us-east-1
mood: fragile
status: "it depends"ISO 9001 Certified
to Go Down
SOC 2
Sometimes Compliant
GDPR
Generally Down, Probably Recovering
99.9% Uptime*
*Per decade
Industry Leader
in Downtime Innovation
24/7 Support
24/7 Incidents
Our Products
Interactive Control Center
Monitor, simulate, and blame in real-time
Live Reliability Score
Uptime (for now)
Service Health Dashboard
Real-time status of our regions
* us-east-1 status is permanently set to degraded for accuracy
Blame Calculator™
Enter any problem and we'll tell you whose fault it is
Choose a Region. We dare you.
What Our Customers Say
Real testimonials from real people having real problems
“It works 60% of the time, every time.”
Sarah Chen
DevOps Engineer
“I've learned to expect disappointment and I'm never disappointed.”
Marcus Rodriguez
CTO
“Our incident response time has improved because we're always responding to incidents.”
Emily Watson
SRE Lead
“The only thing more reliable than their outages is their excuses.”
David Kim
Platform Engineer
“I keep a sleeping bag at the office now. Thanks, us-east-1!”
Jessica Martinez
Infrastructure Lead
“At least they're consistently inconsistent.”
Alex Thompson
Cloud Architect
“My therapist now specializes in cloud infrastructure trauma.”
Ryan O'Brien
Senior DevOps
“I've memorized the incident status page URL. It's my browser homepage.”
Priya Patel
Site Reliability Engineer
“The uptime SLA is more of a suggestion than a guarantee.”
James Wilson
VP of Engineering
“I've started a support group for other us-east-1 survivors.”
Lisa Anderson
Infrastructure Manager
“Our disaster recovery plan is just 'wait for us-east-1 to come back'.”
Michael Chang
Systems Architect
“I measure time in outages now. 'See you in 3 outages!'”
Sofia Ramirez
Cloud Engineer
Today's Incident Timeline
A comprehensive log of everything that went wrong
Someone sneezed near us-east-1
Intern unplugged the wrong cable
Squirrel chewed through fiber optic
DNS decided to take a vacation
Load balancer had existential crisis
Routine maintenance (unplanned)
Coffee spilled on server rack
Janitor hit emergency power button
Database decided to self-optimize
Lunch break caused cascading failures
Network switch achieved sentience
Cosmic ray bit flip (probably)
* This timeline resets daily. Yesterday's incidents are archived for legal reasons.
AWS Clone vs The Other One
Transparent status comms
Regional chaos containment
Pricing clarity
Error Message Gallery
Our most honest error messages
503
Service Unavailable
Translation: We're as surprised as you are
One price. Infinite 503s.
Includes unlimited micro outages, enterprise-grade shrugs, and dark-mode dashboards.
Pricing Calculator
Watch your costs mysteriously increase
* Prices subject to change without notice. Especially during outages.
Migration Assistant
Experiencing issues with us-east-1? Our AI-powered migration tool recommends the perfect solution.
99% less downtime* guaranteed!
* Not actually guaranteed. us-east-1b shares the same infrastructure as us-east-1. Results may vary. Probably won't help.
Documentation
Troubleshooting Lambda
If your Lambda fails, try turning it off and then admitting you turned it off.
"Nothing here. Much like our SLA."
Contact Support
We're here to not help, 24/7
Subscribe to Outage Alerts
Get notified of outages (you'll definitely need them)
You'll receive approximately 47 emails per day